I'm sucks in pretending happy while I'm sad

It's late and I still awake.

Tried to sleep but cannot...Mood so down until sleep also susah!? Hell yeah...

I know that you already told me so many times that I shouldn't be so emotional...

Maybe until you sendiri will also sien to talk about it, who knows?

You always try hard to cheer me up when I was down, but you know that, sometimes I need to pretending happy, and smile to you when actually I'm sad. I know that I shouldn't let you worry about me so much, that's why i choose to pretend.sometimes. 

Sometimes you really can cheer me up, I have to say thank you to you, for being so care about me.

But, when I force myself to cheer up in front of you while actually I'm NOT, everytime are also the hardest times for me, you know? 

Don't feel sad and angry about yourself for being not so 体贴 after read this post. You should know the reason  why I wanted to do like that. The reason was simple, just because I don't want you to worry about me. I know that when I was moody, you sure will bother and think out so many ways to just try to make me happy back again.

Sometimes, even you lame jokes doesn't work so much, but i really can feel the care from you heart, that's why...I CHOOSE TO PRETEND CHEER UP ADY.

You know that I'm an emotional queen and I won't be able to cheer up and happy again easily after i get moody. Sometimes I will feel sad about....you said you understand me, and I believe I told you before, sometimes, when i get moody, i prefer to cool down alone without saying anything, I just need some times to refresh myself. Sometimes, I prefer you to say to me "Dear, don't moody anymore, I will be by your side silently until you finish cool down and face to me while a cheerful smile again." 

I'M SUCKS IN PRETENDING HAPPY WHILE I'M ACTUALLY SAD. 

Please try to understand me, this is the way how I am.

I know emotional is not a good thing, and I know I should change it. But, this is part of my personality, I can't change it easily since it already follow me from the day i was born.

You dislike emo-type girl, I knew it before we being together, If i continue my emotional again and again...I was worrying and wondering....will you feel sien and start hate me? soon or late? This is the thing I never know, even you said you won't, but we are human, we can never know what's gonna happen on next....

That's why I dislike to let you come to find me when I'm MOODY. I just need times to cool down myself. And the next day, face to you or talk to you with a cheerful smile and voice.

I'm sorry that I'm an emo girl.